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The Holidays are here! This is a fun time for most people. What better way to keep the fun for everyone, than discussing boundaries?

What are boundaries?

Think about a fence that surrounds a house. What does the fence represent? The area that belongs to the home owner. The owner will keep their important items inside the fence. Anything outside of the fence has to be allowed in and is not apart of what belongs to the home owner. If the owner decides to go out of the fence then they have to unlock the fence first.

Makes sense, right? – and no, I’m not here to sell you a fence. Boundaries help us stay true to who we are as individuals. They are rules that we make to stay true to ourselves. We know what we like and are able to do. Boundaries are not to block our view of the world nor keep the world from seeing us.

Sometimes around the holidays, we’re asked to do things that are outside of our “fence” and we automatically say yes. This is crossing your boundary; like going out of your fence without unlocking it. Now, you’ve either jumped it or ran through it. You can sometimes literally feel like this.

If you jumped it, you’ve used a lot of energy. Now you feel drained before you have even started to help. If you went through it, you are literally hurting yourself and you’ve damaged you’re fence. This could feel like being uncomfortable. In either case, you may have given the expectation that you’ll do this every time. Especially, if you have broken your fence; this is now an open place for anyone to come in.

So, what do we do?

I know that was a lot of “fence” talk, but the point is to take a moment. Going to unlock the fence represents taking time to ask yourself if you can and want to do this. What will you have to give up? How do you feel about doing this? If this takes a large amount of time and energy, do you have time to rest? Normalize, telling someone you need time to think about it. Knowing all the consequences, allows you to feel firm on your answer. Also, “No.” is a complete sentence. It’s okay to say no, politely.

This is the season of giving and for many of us that means time, money, and energy. You should feel good about when, where, and how much you give to others.

I challenge you to do more research on boundaries and start identifying your own!

As a high school student, conversations around the topic of money are not usually had with friends or family. Why is this? One big reason for this is because our education system in America places little importance on financial literacy in the classroom. Currently, only twenty one states in America require a personal finance course. If parents don’t discuss financial basics with their high school student either, then many are leaving high school without a foundational knowledge about money. This can be detrimental for many.

When I entered college, I didn’t know the difference between a debit card and credit card. I didn’t understand interest. I didn’t know why it was important to have a budget or savings account! Listen folks, my decisions would have looked very different had I known more about money.

In order to set yourself up for financial success in the future, take note of some important advice.

• Start a saving’s account while you are in high school! Time is a precious commodity. You have the time to start saving money while you are free from having to pay rent or bills. Maybe you babysit or lifeguard in the summer, and although it may not seem like a lot of money, at least it’s something. You will be happy you put that money aside one day.
• Do comparison shopping. Before opening that savings or checking account, research different banks to see which ones charge the least amount for routine monthly maintenance fees. Most banks charge you a fee for holding your money unless you maintain a certain balance throughout the month.
• Download a budget app like Mint or YNAB. Learning how to budget now will keep you on track when your financial responsibilities increase later.
• Don’t spend money you don’t have. Once you get your first credit card (you have to wait until you are 18), don’t use your credit card on purchases you won’t be able to pay off. The APR (annual percentage rate) for credit cards is usually VERY high. That means if you don’t pay your balance off in FULL each month, you will start accruing interest on the total balance. It’s simple- don’t spend money you don’t have. Use credit cards to build a good credit score. 
• Build a good credit score. If you don’t pay the balances off on your credit cards, your credit score will go down. Your credit score is determined by many different factors, but the important thing to remember is this:
  • Some employers do credit checks on potential hires
  • Apartment complexes run a credit check on potential tenants
  • Loan officers run a credit check to see if you are a high risk or not. This could affect whether or not you are approved for a high or low interest school, car, or home loan.

Your credit score will follow you EVERYWHERE!

I’m sure you have heard people say, “Adulting is tough. I have so many responsibilities and I wish I had someone to help with the bills.” Being an adult has its perks but it also comes with a bucket full of responsibilities. As a high schooler, I’m sure you are exercising a lot of freedom from the influence or control of many people, except for your parents or guardians. It’s natural to desire independence from those who raised you, but remember that life will really change when you are no longer under their roof.

Take advantage of living at home. Embrace the opportunity to save money, learn new skills, and plan for your future without having the full responsibilities of an adult. Your time will come. For now, focus on who you are as a person.

 What are your values and interests? Who do you want to become? What changes do you want to bring about in this world? Leverage the resource of time. Use this time wisely as you plan and prepare for college in the next two to three years. Use this time to gear up for what is to come. Most adults wish they could go back in time and make different decisions. It’s just you right now. You don’t have a husband, wife, or kids. Take this time to focus on YOU!

How can you become more of an independent thinker? What are your weaknesses? How can you challenge yourself to grow? Adulting is not all that it is cracked up to be. Focus on developing an independent mind first. Push yourself to read books and explore all your future options after high school. If your mind grows and matures, you will already be ahead of the game when true adulting begins.

Since being in quarantine we have heard more about mental health. Mental health is just as important as physical health, but a little harder to navigate. When we are physically unhealthy, we gain weight, we break out, and we feel aches and pains in our bodies. When we are mentally unhealthy it shows in ways that may be a little easier to ignore.

Unstable emotions

Quarantine has made it much harder to do activities that were once stress relievers. Many people use sports as stress relievers, some do group classes like yoga, and some just need time with friends and/or family to vent and connect. Not being able to do these things may make us keep our emotions inside and not express them at all. If you notice being angry or sad more than usual or even moods changing extremely through out the day, this could be you.

Isolation

We have had to isolate for safety reasons, but sometimes when our mental health is suffering, we tend to stay to ourselves. Not to be confused with being introverted or wanting alone time. Isolating, in this sense, is not wanting to be around others because of how negatively we feel about ourselves or something we are going through.

Over exerting

When we are going through tough times, we sometimes try to keep ourselves busy so that we do not have to deal with our thoughts. It looks productive to those around us, but we are suffering inside. However, when we are not able to express ourselves, we made the problem even bigger. Our emotions store in our minds and bodies and cause anxiety, depression, and even physical problems too.

How to help

In order to help with our mental health, we need to take time out of our day to check on ourselves. Use the following ways at your own leisure. Meditation is a great way to slow down and assess our bodies. There are apps that can guide you through mediation. Journaling is a classic way to get our thoughts and feelings out of our heads. You can also find journal prompts online to keep you in the habit. Also, seek a counselor or therapist if necessary. Many are able to do telehealth, so that you can meet with them through zoom or another online service.

Many times when we are talking about the Crosby Scholars Program, we have some people that feel that middle school is too early. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, I want to take a moment to give reason to why middle school is the perfect time to start thinking about college.

Learning Yourself

Middle school academies are geared for students to learn themselves and how they interact with their environments. We talk about the different learning styles and students are able to find ways that work best for them. This is a time when emotions are high and hard to manage for students. In order for students to have a positive learning experience, they need to learn how to manage them.

Time for Responsibility

Students in middle school have one major task in order to be successful. Becoming responsible. Students in middle school have to learn to be responsible and to understand their schedules for school and their extracurricular activities. This is a major concept when it comes to being ready for high school and college; the earlier the better! We work with our students in middle school to become responsible for their learning.

Social Interactions

We work with all public schools in Iredell County. Our in person and online academies have been a chance for students to interact with students they probably would’t meet otherwise. We have seen so many friendships spark from academies and volunteer work. When students enter college they are likely to meet people from all over the country and even the world. Being in Crosby Scholars helps students get used to meeting new people and making new friends

College Talk

We do not want to overwhelm our students with the pressure to perform at college levels so young. We talk about careers and encourage them to expand their horizons. Our middle school college tours are to help students picture themselves on a college campus. Our goal for middle school students is to become the best version of themselves inside and outside of the classroom and also for them to be invested in their education.

If you have any questions about our middle school program please contact our Middle School Coordinator, Ashley Scott!

Throughout your time as a Crosby Scholar, you will continue to hear about the academy topics that we offer. Our personal enrichment and academic workshops are called academies and we strive to prepare topics that will prepare students for success.

The goal is to expose our students to an array of topics that will produce self-awareness, academic success, an acknowledgement of resources, and the ability to choose the right path after high school. So what are some of those topics?

• Financial literacy
• Time management
• Study skills
• ACT/SAT Prep
• FAFSA completion
• Essay writing
• Scholarship searches
• Mental health
• Tips for success
• Career exploration
• Healthcare
• Engineering
• Perseverance

This list of topics does not cover all the ones we offer! We are constantly developing new topics so that our students are getting the best, most relevant information. Make sure you are logging into your Student Portal to register for an academy!