“A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it and never makes that mistake again.” – Roy H. Williams
We all make mistakes. But no matter what you mess up on, acknowledging your own errors in your work; you can still overcome your mistakes. Taking ownership of what happened and learning from them opens doors to progression.
Don’t beat yourself down over something you did, we’re human. We are not perfect. Rather than looking at mistakes as a negative situation, look at them as opportunities for growth. What these opportunities are, are ultimately up to you, but they’re endless. Ask yourself, ‘what did I mess up on and how I can improve going forward?’
Here’s a few things to remember next time you make a mistake:
Are you the type of person who gives up after failing the first time? Do you feel defeated when life doesn’t go your way? If you are easily numbed by setbacks and are unable to reach your goals, begin to reflect on the word resilience and why it’s important. Life will always throw you curve balls and disappointment is inevitable. How can we be better prepared?
By definition, resilience is the capacity to recover quickly after enduring difficulties in life. In order to be resilient, you must take an active role in protecting yourself from the negative effects of stressors. Developing the right behaviors and positive perspectives during times of hardship will enable you to bounce back more quickly.
Think about your life. Have you struggled with the loss of a relationship? Maybe someone close to you is no longer around. Maybe you fight mental illness or perhaps you made a decision last year to hang out with the wrong group of people and you have now become the worst version of yourself. I know what you’re probably thinking out loud…”some people may not have the tools to push through hardship, Ms. Montgomery. They might not have the mental capacity or the right support system.” Well, you’re right. Regardless of your personal situation, you have the decision to develop skills that will protect you when circumstances are tough.
Accept what is and embrace change. I like to think of the word redirection. If your current strategy isn’t working, re-strategize. Know what you can control and what you can’t control in life.
Build strong relationships. Invest in people that will invest back.
Find your purpose in life.
Push in and through the problem instead of around it. Deal with the pain instead of suppressing it. You will recover more quickly.
Don’t relive the event. This will not propel you forward.
Overcome your fears. Push yourself to try things that scare you, like public speaking. This is having a growth mindset.
Practice expressive writing. You will gain new insights.
Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself mentally and physically.
Cultivate forgiveness if someone has wronged you.
Practice meditation
When looking back on my own life, it’s helpful to identify seasons of growth. What happened during those times? Did I have a positive perspective and embrace change and new challenges? Yes. In times of hardship, how long did I stay in a broken place? How resilient was I during those times? Learn from past mistakes, press forward towards your goals, and strive to grow and learn daily.
This school year will be like no other. Although COVID-19 has changed the school year for many students and teachers, we understand the transition to digital learning maybe difficult. We believe that every student has the chance to be successful and we are here to help make sure COVID-19 doesn’t stop that success. Here are a few tips we came up with to help you have a successful school year!
Remember, you got this! We’re all in this together.
The college search and application process can be a difficult one to start without knowing what your first steps should be. Parents and high school seniors tend to feel overwhelmed before beginning the process because they don’t know where to start. Crosby Scholars exists to help ease the inevitable anxiety that joins students and parents!
Here is some important advice before writing down your target list of colleges- choose the program, not the school. If you get too hung up on the school name, you might make a terrible decision. For the most part, employers look for the degree you received. They care more about the degree than the school you attended. I have worked with many seniors who have an unwavering desire to attend a specific school. Well, that dream school doesn’t always have the program or major they would like to pursue and they still choose that school. Yes, the school you attend must be a good “match” (academically and financially) and a good “fit” (desired location, size, etc), but you shouldn’t base your decision solely on the school name. Our culture tends to tell us that labels matter. Well, they don’t. Tear off the labels.
Some students are willing to go into major student loan debt because the school becomes more important than the degree. Approach this with a cost-benefit analysis. If you leave school with a debt you will struggle to ever pay back, reconsider the school you are choosing. Will the salary of your desired career enable you to pay it off in ten years? What is more important- claps for attending a school with a good reputation or a freedom from crippling school loans throughout your adulthood? Student loans ARE NOT BAD. I want to be clear about this. Make sure you are practicing SMART loan borrowing. Research, research, research! Does your dream school have the program you would like to pursue? Have you thought through the financial side of things? Do the pros outweigh the cons? Talk to several people you trust as you navigate this process.
Hi guys! My name is Ashley Scott, I’m your new Middle School Coordinator. I’m excited to join Crosby Scholars and I can’t wait to meet everyone. What attracted me to this position was that I would have the opportunity to help students prepare for college and give positive advice from my college experience. The Crosby Scholars program is important for students because they learn so many great things. Students become more involved in the community, their school and their studies. They are able to learn about the different options to pay for college and the many career paths.
I’m a North Carolina native and I graduated from Statesville High School, go Greyhounds! I received my Bachelor of Arts degree from The University of North Carolina at Greensboro and my Master’s in Communication from Morehead State University.
In my free time I enjoy being outdoors, riding my dirt-bike, walking my dogs and playing basketball. So if anyone wants to play one-on-one, this is your official challenge. 🙂
My passion has always been to help and create a positive environment. I enjoy lending a helping hand wherever it is needed. I can’t wait to see how I can help contribute to Crosby Scholars and the amazing Middle School students.
So many things in our world have changed in the last 3 months and it IS extremely overwhelming. Last year my conversations with students and parents were centered around what to bring to college, understanding changes to parent student relationships with FERPA and enjoying the excitement of the new year through Facebook and Instagram posts.
Today the conversation is DIFFERENT! Students and Parents are asking should I still go to college? What is the value if everything is going online? What options do I have? Do I still need to pay the full price of school and dorms? The thought of students paying a premium to stream classes was very creatively displayed in this Facebook post.
First, I want to remind you…There is value to education. While the image is funny, we realize it is not really a true comparison. Colleges and Universities are planning to provide in person, online or some hybrid of education and there is a cost and a value to that education. If you thought so last year while you were applying, that should not have changed.
What might have changed is your financial situation and sensitivity to the cost vs value proposition. Your family finances will definitely impact your decisions, but you should reach out to your school and explain your situation and see what is available. Each school is managing financial aid requests separately.
Recent High School Graduates started a very grueling application process. Blood, sweat and tears, YES tears, went into a large majority of these students’ efforts to get accepted into the school of their choice. Then COVID hit and they had to decide pretty early what they were going to do in the fall. Some students changed their plans about going out of state or far away from home, some decided to stick with their initial plan.
The choices were tough but were made. Now we are seeing a surge in cases and colleges are sending out invoices for the fall semester not only including the cost of a dorm room but requiring contracts signed from families stating that refunds would not be given if college campus has to close. Now families are second guessing their May decisions, campuses are scurrying to provide information that is sometimes only good for a few hours.
Everyone is asking WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Don’t make hasty decisions – You spent 6 months or more researching schools, completing applications and then deciding on an institution to attend. Be sure you review your choices and understand your ultimate educational goals. If you change now, what are the implications on future options.
Read EVERYTHING VERY CAREFULLY- There is A LOT of information on each school’s website. Before making or changing any decisions, be sure you understand every aspect of the decision.
Find options or choices that work for your student
Understand deadlines for changes
Understand cost or fees associated with changes
READ – READ and then GO Listen to the volume of video communication about all of it available on YouTube. (Don’t believe me, type in your school’s name and 2020 and up will pop short videos about managing ever-changing campus life.
Communicate with your school – If you have researched all available information and still have questions, reach out to admissions, student services, and financial aid to address specific circumstances of your family. Some schools have resources that might be able to help you overcome a change in plans.
Be careful what you sign! – Schools are pushing more documents than ever before. Make sure your student reads or at least forwards the email to you to read before they agree. Examples of documents:
COVID prompted and changed the housing agreement
Tuition agreements
Code of conduct – Check out the level of detail in behavior they are asking students to sign. UMass Code of Conduct
Be confident in your decision – Once you have worked through all of the issues, stand firm in your plan, work to support your student as they begin the year. The stress associated with this transition is big enough but when you add COVID, that multiplies. Make a plan and check-in.
So, yes YOU WILL HAVE TO CHOOSE! But this is not an either-or proposition. Ultimately, you have to do what is right for you and your family. Consider learning styles, location, safety, cost, and family. Luckily there are so many pathways to education and you have options. You don’t have to choose COVID or COLLEGE.
In closing I will say that you also need to CHOOSE to be a member of the community and take steps to ensure your health and well-being and that of your community. CHOOSE to be SMART.
One of our requirements for the program is for students to complete two hours of community service. Whenever I meet with middle school students I ask them what they think about when I say community service. Most students talk about picking up trash on the side of the road. While that isn’t wrong, I’d like for us to change the narrative on what students think about community service. I try to make sure they understand what it is, why it is important, and the different ways they can do community service.
Community service brings awareness to help needed from people around us. We hope to inspire our students to pursue their goals and dreams while also being individuals that can help better the community. Community service not only helps people in that moment but it creates opportunities for creative minds to make changes for the future. Community service can inspire a future engineer’s invention or a future legislator’s law.
We understand that Covid-19 has put a damper on what we may traditionally think about for community service but there are several ways we can still help our communities safely. You can organize a clean up of an area and ask your friends and family to help out. There are many people that have volunteered to clean parks and communities to keep individuals safe.
There is a program that collects manufacturer’s coupons and sends them to our troops overseas. We called Coups for Troops and we had hundreds of coupons donated from our students in the past couple years. You can also do that on your own! Here’s a link to more information.
Another way to help is to write letters to the residents in nursing homes. I’ve seen posts on social media asking for letters for their residents. How awesome would it be to have a pen pal? Many of them have the same interests as you; like sports, gardening, pets, singing, dancing, etc. I actually plan to do this myself. Think of the smile you’d put on someone’s face by showing you care!
There are plenty of websites that can give you ideas and will guide you on the different forms of community service you can do. No matter what you choose to do, remember that you are making a difference.
During this early part of summer, I am meeting individually with some students from the class of 2021. I am their Senior Advisor. The purpose of our meetings is to see how ready each student is for the college application season.
I have to tell you that we have some excellent students in our Iredell school systems. Most of the students I’ve met with have an extremely high GPA. In fact, several were almost perfect 4.0 unweighted, or 4.5 and above on a weighted scale. These students also had outstanding ACT scores. I’d like to think that this level of talent only exists here in our county, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the case.
So what’s the point in telling you all this? The point is that these students all look very similar when looking at their “numbers”. When only .01 separates one GPA from another, it’s hard to say that one is a better college prospect than the other. It’s not uncommon for many students to have the exact same GPA upon high school graduation.
Test scores–did you know that scores 30-36 on the ACT represent the top 1%? So, all the students in that score range are in the 99th percentile. In other words, they scored better than 99% of the students who took the test in a given year. Can you say that a score of 32 is so much worse than a 35 when they are all so good? It’s hard to make that distinction.
How can a student get noticed in a group with thousands of great college applicants? The answer is extracurricular activities. What students do when they aren’t in school can make them stand out to an admissions officer. Here are a few tips to make your extracurricular activities work. (These same tips apply to scholarship applications.)
1. Find 2 or 3 activities that you enjoy and stick with them. Admissions officers don’t expect students to take part in 20 or 30 clubs, sports, or hobbies. In fact, they would rather see depth in participation instead of breadth.
2. How to get “depth”? Show growth in the activities you choose. Did you become a captain, officer, or committee chair? For these activities to be meaningful, you have to actually participate—not just join. And, being an officer doesn’t mean much if you can’t give examples of how you helped lead the organization.
3. Seek and accept leadership positions and then shine! Grow the group, plan new events, rally fellow students around a cause.
4. Make sure at least one of your activities involves community service. You’ll feel great about what you do to help. And you’ll learn more than you can imagine by volunteering.
5. If you need to work a part-time job, don’t sweat it. This is also an extracurricular activity. Admissions officers value strong students who work.
6. On your college application, be sure to rank your activities. List the best or most impressive ones at the top. If you don’t know which those are, ask your Crosby Scholars Senior Advisor, a parent, teacher, or friend. They will know!
Finally, summer is the perfect time to enjoy some extracurricular activities. If you are starting high school, find out what clubs your school has and make a plan to join at least one. If you’re an athlete, use your summertime to build your skills and abilities. If you like fine arts, learn a new dance, painting technique, monologue, or new instrument. Keep a growth mindset and enjoy your summer.
Back in high school, my summers consisted of socializing with friends, sleeping in every day, and laying poolside. Although I look back on those times with fond memories, I regret not making my summers count.
Whether you enjoy cooking, robotics, theater, or basketball, there’s always a summer enrichment program out there for you to join. If you wish to hone skills, explore your interests, create a new passion, or even meet friends, summer enrichment programs will help you do just that. Due to the current COVID-19 pandemic, virtual enrichment programs are becoming an option for students as well. Many summer enrichment programs are held on college campuses. So, you not only get to enjoy experiential learning, you also get the chance to see what a college dorm is really like! If you get to live on a college campus for a week while still in high school, the transition from high school to college will be much easier!
Are you curious about how to research different summer enrichment opportunities? CFNC has a great search tool. You can search by location and interest. Try looking at the different opportunities being offered at your college or university of interest. Utilize the time you have over summer to deepen your learning and life experiences!
Ever seen a sign at someone’s desk that reads, “Poor Planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”?
I really do enjoy working with students and helping them to achieve their goals. I love the “a-ha” moments when it all seems to click and students learn something about themselves and succeed in ways they never thought they could. On the other hand I am just as crushed when I see one of my students struggle or fail because of something silly like a missed date, requirement, or misunderstanding. But win or fail, we learn from each circumstance. The lesson might be hard but it is valuable and often times that mistake is not repeated — an achievement in itself. Today’s Lesson is “Exceptions should NOT be your RULE!
In my role as Senior Program Coordinator for Crosby Scholars Iredell County I often have to ask a question of hundreds of students. The answer then drives processes. Every time I send out an email I hold my breath. Then I hear it, my phone signals that I am getting a response. Every time I hear the phone ding, I know it is an exception. Want to know how I know? Nowhere in the instructions did I say to send me an email to respond. The reason being, I can’t keep up with 300 individual emails.
I started this blog wanting to help students understand that always asking for exceptions and doing things in a special way just for them is not really doing them any favors. In today’s world everyone needs an exception, an accommodation, and special excuses. I am not talking about IEP or 504 accommodations. Asking for exceptions because of learning differences is one of my exceptions. (Ha Ha)
You know what I am talking about. Go into a room of 25 students. Announce that you need them to perform a specific task on a specific day at a specific time. Sit back and watch the 5 – 10 hands fly up for the – I can’t make that day, that time does not work for me, I really don’t like that task is there something else I can do. I am here to say — NO. Sometimes if you want to benefit from a program or a job or an experience, you are going to have to make it a priority. Go back to that room of 25 kids. Take a look at the 15 to 20 students that said, yes, I am here, I am ready, tell me what I need to do to benefit. These kids are the rule. Sometimes it is good to be the rule. For the kids that take every opportunity and meet the requirements and engage with interest and sincerity. Those are the kids that are going to succeed. Not only in Crosby Scholars, but in LIFE.
This does not mean that I am looking for a cookie cutter world where everyone is the same and everyone is alike. I strongly believe we THRIVE on diversity. Different views, different ideas, different backgrounds, bring something special to the world. Let’s take those 15 – 20 students that did not ask for exceptions but each have different educational goals and paths. I love helping kids explore what can be next and know that they don’t have to follow the crowd. They will succeed and thrive if they follow their own path. Checking the boxes of a designed and planned program will only enhance their ability to be successful.
When did we start thinking that groups, organizations and programs have to bend and sway for individual likes and dislikes? I believe that we too quickly jump into participation to look good, or check a box, or build that resume. I would offer that we should be selective of our time and participation and only engage in activities that bring value and fit with your goals, desires & passions. Ask these questions? What is the value of the Program? Why do you want to participate in the Program? What do you hope to get from participation? Do I have time and capacity to see this through? What are the alternatives if I DO NOT participate in the program?
Your time is valuable. If you do choose to participate I suggest you try to be the rule. Complete the requirements, participate, engage, and use the resources. If you don’t someone else will. Stand out in a positive way and not as the person that always needs a workaround.
In the game of college admissions, scholarships and jobs, there is always an application process. There are specific steps and processes that need to be followed. If you are looking for exceptions, don’t be surprised if you do not get them. When 42,000 students are applying for 9,000 spots, this is not the time to not follow the process or look for an exception. You will be remembered, but for all the wrong reasons.
Think about how excited you will be when you get that acceptance letter!
