The Holidays are here! This is a fun time for most people. What better way to keep the fun for everyone, than discussing boundaries?
What are boundaries?
Think about a fence that surrounds a house. What does the fence represent? The area that belongs to the home owner. The owner will keep their important items inside the fence. Anything outside of the fence has to be allowed in and is not apart of what belongs to the home owner. If the owner decides to go out of the fence then they have to unlock the fence first.
Makes sense, right? – and no, I’m not here to sell you a fence. Boundaries help us stay true to who we are as individuals. They are rules that we make to stay true to ourselves. We know what we like and are able to do. Boundaries are not to block our view of the world nor keep the world from seeing us.
Sometimes around the holidays, we’re asked to do things that are outside of our “fence” and we automatically say yes. This is crossing your boundary; like going out of your fence without unlocking it. Now, you’ve either jumped it or ran through it. You can sometimes literally feel like this.
If you jumped it, you’ve used a lot of energy. Now you feel drained before you have even started to help. If you went through it, you are literally hurting yourself and you’ve damaged you’re fence. This could feel like being uncomfortable. In either case, you may have given the expectation that you’ll do this every time. Especially, if you have broken your fence; this is now an open place for anyone to come in.
So, what do we do?
I know that was a lot of “fence” talk, but the point is to take a moment. Going to unlock the fence represents taking time to ask yourself if you can and want to do this. What will you have to give up? How do you feel about doing this? If this takes a large amount of time and energy, do you have time to rest? Normalize, telling someone you need time to think about it. Knowing all the consequences, allows you to feel firm on your answer. Also, “No.” is a complete sentence. It’s okay to say no, politely.
This is the season of giving and for many of us that means time, money, and energy. You should feel good about when, where, and how much you give to others.
I challenge you to do more research on boundaries and start identifying your own!
Here in Iredell County, we are lucky to have three early college programs that students can apply to. Early college is an option for students to apply to to earn their high school diploma and their associates degree in 5 years. This is an awesome opportunity for students! Students usually have the month of November to apply and make sure they have all of their requirements in. If you and your student(s) are considering applying here are some points I think you should consider.
We talk to many of the teachers and staff of the early college programs and one of the main points they make is that students do not take the course work as seriously as they should. The amount of work is more than those of their high school counterparts. Remember, you are also obtaining a college degree. You will be required to do more work. Maturity and time management will be key in being successful.
Many students like to apply with friends. Understand that everyone may not be accepted, friends may be accepted into different schools, and some friends may not want to apply to early college. ASEC is on the campus of North Iredell High School and Crossroads is on the campus of Statesville High School. There is a good chance you may see your friends but not have classes with them. While all these situations are unfortunate, it is important that you keep striving to achieve your goals.
Yes, you will receive an associates degree at the end of the 5 years. This is an amazing accomplishment! If you plan to go on to get a 4 year degree, understand that private schools like Duke will still accept you as a freshman and not a junior. Due to them being a private school they can make that decision. So if Duke or another private school is your ultimate goal, just make sure you are aware that you will take some of your courses over. Make sure you do your research about what your future school will accept
It is also important to know that if you do not get in as a freshman, you are not doomed! You can apply again the next year. They will have fewer seats available, but you can still apply. It’s definitely worth it! We as Crosby Staff have seen student apply after freshman year and still be accepted.
If you have any questions about the application process please reach out to any of our staff as well as the staff of the early college programs. Good Luck!
Since being in quarantine we have heard more about mental health. Mental health is just as important as physical health, but a little harder to navigate. When we are physically unhealthy, we gain weight, we break out, and we feel aches and pains in our bodies. When we are mentally unhealthy it shows in ways that may be a little easier to ignore.
Quarantine has made it much harder to do activities that were once stress relievers. Many people use sports as stress relievers, some do group classes like yoga, and some just need time with friends and/or family to vent and connect. Not being able to do these things may make us keep our emotions inside and not express them at all. If you notice being angry or sad more than usual or even moods changing extremely through out the day, this could be you.
We have had to isolate for safety reasons, but sometimes when our mental health is suffering, we tend to stay to ourselves. Not to be confused with being introverted or wanting alone time. Isolating, in this sense, is not wanting to be around others because of how negatively we feel about ourselves or something we are going through.
When we are going through tough times, we sometimes try to keep ourselves busy so that we do not have to deal with our thoughts. It looks productive to those around us, but we are suffering inside. However, when we are not able to express ourselves, we made the problem even bigger. Our emotions store in our minds and bodies and cause anxiety, depression, and even physical problems too.
How to help
In order to help with our mental health, we need to take time out of our day to check on ourselves. Use the following ways at your own leisure. Meditation is a great way to slow down and assess our bodies. There are apps that can guide you through mediation. Journaling is a classic way to get our thoughts and feelings out of our heads. You can also find journal prompts online to keep you in the habit. Also, seek a counselor or therapist if necessary. Many are able to do telehealth, so that you can meet with them through zoom or another online service.
Many times when we are talking about the Crosby Scholars Program, we have some people that feel that middle school is too early. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, I want to take a moment to give reason to why middle school is the perfect time to start thinking about college.
Middle school academies are geared for students to learn themselves and how they interact with their environments. We talk about the different learning styles and students are able to find ways that work best for them. This is a time when emotions are high and hard to manage for students. In order for students to have a positive learning experience, they need to learn how to manage them.
Time for Responsibility
Students in middle school have one major task in order to be successful. Becoming responsible. Students in middle school have to learn to be responsible and to understand their schedules for school and their extracurricular activities. This is a major concept when it comes to being ready for high school and college; the earlier the better! We work with our students in middle school to become responsible for their learning.
We work with all public schools in Iredell County. Our in person and online academies have been a chance for students to interact with students they probably would’t meet otherwise. We have seen so many friendships spark from academies and volunteer work. When students enter college they are likely to meet people from all over the country and even the world. Being in Crosby Scholars helps students get used to meeting new people and making new friends
We do not want to overwhelm our students with the pressure to perform at college levels so young. We talk about careers and encourage them to expand their horizons. Our middle school college tours are to help students picture themselves on a college campus. Our goal for middle school students is to become the best version of themselves inside and outside of the classroom and also for them to be invested in their education.
If you have any questions about our middle school program please contact our Middle School Coordinator, Ashley Scott!
One of our requirements for the program is for students to complete two hours of community service. Whenever I meet with middle school students I ask them what they think about when I say community service. Most students talk about picking up trash on the side of the road. While that isn’t wrong, I’d like for us to change the narrative on what students think about community service. I try to make sure they understand what it is, why it is important, and the different ways they can do community service.
Community service brings awareness to help needed from people around us. We hope to inspire our students to pursue their goals and dreams while also being individuals that can help better the community. Community service not only helps people in that moment but it creates opportunities for creative minds to make changes for the future. Community service can inspire a future engineer’s invention or a future legislator’s law.
We understand that Covid-19 has put a damper on what we may traditionally think about for community service but there are several ways we can still help our communities safely. You can organize a clean up of an area and ask your friends and family to help out. There are many people that have volunteered to clean parks and communities to keep individuals safe.
There is a program that collects manufacturer’s coupons and sends them to our troops overseas. We called Coups for Troops and we had hundreds of coupons donated from our students in the past couple years. You can also do that on your own! Here’s a link to more information.
Another way to help is to write letters to the residents in nursing homes. I’ve seen posts on social media asking for letters for their residents. How awesome would it be to have a pen pal? Many of them have the same interests as you; like sports, gardening, pets, singing, dancing, etc. I actually plan to do this myself. Think of the smile you’d put on someone’s face by showing you care!
There are plenty of websites that can give you ideas and will guide you on the different forms of community service you can do. No matter what you choose to do, remember that you are making a difference.
Attending a Historically Black College and University, HBCU, was the best choice for me and I recommend HBCUs to all students. Out of the 111 colleges and universities in North Carolina, 12 are HBCUs. There is a myth that only black, or African American students can attend HBCUs. All ethnicities are welcome at HBCUs, some offer minority scholarships to students of other ethnicities. North Carolina is also home to the biggest HBCU in America, NCAT (North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University). They have the most students enrolled.
HBCUs and PWIs, predominantly white institutions, have many similarities. HBCUs have big, medium, and small campuses. They also have public and private campuses. Another myth is that the education is not as credible as PWIs. Many HBCUs are known for their prestige and scholarship. I researched the top nursing schools in NC and out of the top ten, two HBCUs were on the list. Here is the list along with their yearly instate tuition rate and NCLEX passing rate.
From the picture you can see that HBCUs offer similar outcomes and more usually more affordable.
Price is not the only factor that effects why we choose our colleges. Retention rate is also a factor. For many HBCUs the retention rate is not where it should be. However, I do have a simple solution for that. We need more Crosby Scholars. No, seriously! So many high schools do not have programs like Crosby Scholars that prepare students for the college going process. Many African Americans are first generation students and do not have the tools to help them be successful in college. I am proof that programs like Crosby Scholars can lead to better retention rates.
When I was in high school at Statesville High, we had a program called Gear-Up (which has recently been refunded for ISS and has partnered with us). This program took me on college campuses that I would have never seen otherwise. They taught me how to fill out the FAFSA. They also informed me about the responsibilities and discipline I would need to be successful. I can honestly say without a doubt that without that program I would not have attended WSSU and graduated.
As a HBCU grad, I will also say that the HBCU community, while competitive, is welcoming of all HBCU alumni. Black culture is naturally collectivistic and so all HBCUs are seen as a family. HBCU pride is very strong because of our rich history. Greensboro is one of the places that participated in the Civil Rights protests. My great uncle was attending NCAT during this time. NCAT gives a piece of this history during their tour. I highly recommend! WSSU is rooted in a black community and serves the neighboorhood and surrounding grade schools. At WSSU the motto is “Enter to learn, depart to serve.” While we were taught our majors we were also taught to give back. I appreciated the experiences I had with the surrounding community.
Lastly, the Devine 9. There are 9 original HBCU Greek Organizations. Joining a Greek organization is costly. Most will not allow you join your freshman year because they all value scholarship and that is your priority as a freshman. Some have GPA requirements and depending on which organization you are interested in you cannot fall below a certain average. All organizations value community service, as thier campuses do. These organizations can be found at PWIs as well. The commitment to be a part of these organizations goes beyond graduation. Please do your research and attend information meetings before pursuing.
I hope I have outlined a decent picture of HBCUs. The topic of HBCUs is dear to my heart, and I could go on for days. If you want more information I can give you more of my personal experience and help you find more information.
Ahhh, test taking. The thought of taking a test gives most people anxiety. I am one of these people. In grade school, I would miss questions that I knew the answer to simply because of my anxiety. You can be fully prepared to take a test and still be anxious about it. That’s perfectly normal. I am in this category, even as a grad student. The good thing is that there is help for test anxiety. There are several things you can do to combat those feelings.
A good breakfast does the body good! We have to make sure we fuel up our bodies for the day. When your brain is fueled and not thinking about food you can focus better. I’ve presented research that gave evidence to this. I’ve presented this research at WSSU as well as the Southeastern School Behavioral Health Conference in Myrtle Beach (2017).
Make sure you are sleeping the recommended amount of time. Sleep gives your body the rest it needs. Your mind does enough when you are awake. Give it the break it needs.
Make sure your study space is free of distractions. When studying make sure you space out your studying. Do not CRAM the night before! This does not work. You may remember a few things but not enough. Your brain retains information over time. Study the information routinely. Ask for help when studying (friends, peers, family members). There are many tools you can use to help make your studying easier.
There are several test tips you can use when taking a test. First, make sure you read the directions as well as the test questions carefully. I had a science teacher in high school that gave a test as an April Fools joke. His only instructions were read the test fully before answering the questions. The last question told you it was a joke.
Also, underline words if you need to. Anything that helps you recall or think through the answers. I like to go through a test and answer all the easy questions first. That way I have more time to solve the questions I need more time to think about. For subjects that require formulas, you can write those down before you begin. Also, use scrap paper if it’s allowed. Some of us are visual learners and may need to draw concepts out.
If you need accommodations please talk your teacher. They will make sure you get the help you need. If you did not make the score you were hoping for, also talk to your teacher about those questions. See where you may have made an error. Ask about tutoring and you can also use the internet for help.
Lastly just make sure that you are giving you best effort and utilizing the resources you have. Tests are not always easy but the more prepared you are for the test, the better the outcome will be.
Given the circumstances, we all have a reason to feel stressed. Our lives have changed so much in the past few weeks. The changes have been the same for some of us and different for others, nonetheless, you still have a reason to feel stressed.
My first tip is to acknowledge that fact. This isn’t something that you have ever experienced before, nor have many generations before you. This is uncharted territory for the whole world. You’re allowed to feel whatever you are feeling. The next step is being able to express yourself and relieve your stress in the best way possible.Talk to someone about how you feel or write it in a journal. You may want to put parameters around the conversation to ensure this is a positive conversation and that you are able to express yourself fully. Parameters may be that only one person is allowed to speak at a time, negating someone’s feelings is not allowed, or even say that you’re not looking for advice you just need to get it out. You may feel emotional and you need to feel that. Do not hide your emotions from others (if it is a safe environment) to avoid looking vulnerable. As humans, we all have emotions and they bring us together. Ever cry (or fake cry) in front of a toddler? They hug you, right? It’s a natural response.
My next tip is to make a routine. Think back to a couple of months ago, you had a routine that you followed every day. Now is time to make a new one. It is easy to settle into our feelings but sometimes when we do we slack off. Your sleep pattern is off, you don’t want to cook or eat, and you just want to lay in bed. Maybe that’s okay for a day or so, but in order to feel better we have to make a routine. Our brains naturally like order and routine. So set an alarm for everyday and get up and start moving. Set achievements for the day. I am currently working through this myself, so bear with me. I give myself a list of things to do for the day. It helps me stay in the present. Not reminiscing on the past before this and not worrying about the future. Stay in the here and now. I have a list of things to accomplish for work, school, home, and self. Don’t go crazy with the list. A few things on each will keep you busy each day. Check them off your list when they are done. If anything wasn’t completed roll it over to the next day.
Another tip is to enjoy the little things. Before this change, I can say personally, that there were moments that I don’t feel I took time to enjoy. I make sure I do that now. In previous blogs, I mentioned that I like to sing and paint. I downloaded an app that gives me vocal exercises every day and during my room cleaning I found my paints. I plan to try doing my own painting soon. Growing up I also liked cooking and baking. I bought a cake decorating kit that I’ve been using to practice piping with. Those are things I make sure I slow down and enjoy. It brings memories of fond times with people I love. Those memories bring me good feelings and during these times we need those.
Lastly, we live in the day of technology download a meditation app, a journal app, a fitness app whatever you need to help you through this. I promise there’s an app for that or a YouTube video. Look into eBooks and audiobooks. Play family games (Heads up is fun!). There are so many podcasts out there to listen to! Also remember that you can still contact mental health professionals if you want or need to. Please do not hesistate.
I hope this helps as we continue this journey together (while being apart). Please continue to stay safe!
Many of us think about résumé’s when it’s time to apply for a job or a scholarship. There is so much information that goes into résumés and there is also a great deal of information that shouldn’t be in a résumé. Keep reading to see my personal tips about résumés.
What is a résumé?
Great question! A résumé is a brief account of a person’s education, qualifications, and previous experience. So on this 1-2 page document you want to make sure you market yourself well. Many people only put the basics here, but, this is your time to shine! Note your experiences and what skills you’ve learned. What were your responsibilities and what skills did you learn? Granted, these should be short sentences but put your strengths forward! You want to show the people reading your application that you deserve the position or the scholarship! This is your ticket to earning an interview. Ask someone to review it for you before you submit it. Another great service we can provide, by the way (shameless plug).
It is my opinion that having someone look over your résumé is always helpful. Make sure these are trusted adults, that will give helpful advice. Many times when we describe our experiences it sounds pretty basic, but word choice is everything! Choosing the right action words for your résumé can completely change the tone of your description. I’m sure we’ve all sent a text where we meant one thing and it was understood a different way. An easy way to find new vocabulary for your résumé is to find synonyms for certain words. For instance a word often used is “helped”, try using assisted or aided. Sometimes you realize that you didn’t help you collaborated with others on a project. Also if you are currently working, look up your job description online. See how your position is explained and use that to inspire your words.
Before I graduated college I made an appointment with at the student resources office to create my résumé. When we started talking about my experience my only jobs were being student researcher, a sales associate at Kohl’s, and a deli clerk at Harris Teeter. He asked me about my responsibilities. Imagine seeing my résumé and under deli clerk you see – slices meat and cheese for customers. Is that what I did? Yes, but see how this sounds: “Prepare, process, package, and stock products according to health and safety standards.” Sounds much better, right? It’s also a more accurate description of what I did.
So what don’t I need?
Remember a résumé is a summary, so we do not want to be heavy handed with our words. We are not telling a story, but we do want our summary to make the interviewer(s) curious about our experience(s). Under each experience I would note 2-3 responsibilities. Also there are many résumé templates online and on Word, be careful. You definitely want to be basic here, in my opinion. I’ve always been told not to go for the colorful ones or the ones with funky layouts. Some people put pictures on their résumé and that could be a bit much. Every employer is different, but I would stick to a plain layout. Above all else DO NOT lie or exaggerate. Always be honest and upfront. That’s a sure way to get denied for what you’ve applied for and also things you may apply for in the future. The interviewer may also tell others about your lie, so don’t risk it!
I hope this helps and know that we are here to help! Good luck with your résumés!
We often talk about middle and high school being the times to start habits for being successful in school, looking into careers, and making a routine. These years are also a great time to start discovering what you are good at, or your talents. One of Meriam-Webster’s definitions of talent is “1. A.) A special often athletic, creative, or artistic aptitude.” Notice the word special. It doesn’t say that it’s similar to everyone else’s talents. You may be an awesome athlete, but that doesn’t mean you have to play basketball, football, or volleyball – maybe you throw shot put and discus (like me), quidditch, or unicycle hockey.
cliché but I do feel that everyone has a talent. Most people overlook their
talents as something they think everyone can do. You know when people tell you
how amazing your ability is, and you brush it off as nothing. Others don’t try
new experiences to determine if they are good at something. These are the best
years to try new tasks and see where you stand. We as people have a terrible
habit of thinking of failure as something that defines who we are. Failure is
simply a learning tool. It happens to the best of us. If you have never failed
at doing something, you probably have never been challenged. Youth is one of
the best times to fail and learn because your brain still finds it easy to
store new knowledge and get rid of knowledge you don’t use. As we age our
brains aren’t able to do that as much.
Ever since I
was small I have had a love for singing. My father is a great singer and I am
named after a beautiful singer that tragically lost her life in a plane crash
in 2004. So I worked on my singing all my life because I figured it MUST be my
talent. I am a decent singer but I have found another talent as a young adult
that I have never tapped into before. I started attending painting classes and
found that I’m a pretty good painter. My first painting compared to my most
recent are as different as night and day. However, I love seeing my progress
and it makes me feel good. I have 12 paintings that I am very proud of and I
try to do at least one a month. All of my paintings are on my wall somewhere in
Why do we
care about talents? Talents can lead you to finding your career. Could I become
an amazing artist and start selling my art for people to enjoy – maybe! For now
however, it is a talent that helps me de-stress and focus on something I enjoy.
I also get to decorate my room with my art which is an awesome feeling. The possibilities are endless with what your
talents could be! Start figuring them out now! Tell others about them, then you
can find friends that enjoy doing it as well!
You’ll never know until you try, and it’s a worthy feeling to be able to confidently say I did this and I’m good at it or I did that and it’s not for me. Sometimes we try things and realize we’re not good at it and we try harder to become better at it. It’s up to you. It all depends on how it makes you feel. So don’t be afraid to take that class, join/start that club, and write down that poem. You never know where your talents could take you!